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Mei Qian =) 28th Feb 1990
Wednesday, April 8, 2009

God!! Why are you torturing me like this?? Why? Cause I don't believe in you? I still won't believe in you despite all these things that happened! So please? Can u just make things back to normal again?

Some people never change, do they? Despite learning their lesson the tough way, they still never learn!! I'm so damn disappointed in dad! A leopard never change it's spots!! He went back to he's old way again... Guess there's so need to hide it... It's the bloody credit card problem. He accumulated a bill of $6000++, yes, it might not be much, but it will then be credited to the previously accumulated sum of $80,000. Not a lot right?! Kick my ass! Like what the FUCK?!?!? It was like less than a year ago that he promised he will change. Thought we will be able to become happy family a few years later, after he clear the debts! But.. Fuck it! No! Maybe it's true, promises are meant to be broken! Is that a retribution for me? For breaking too many promises??

Why? Why bring me to this place in the first place, when you can't even support the family?? Just the 3 of us, and you still wanna create so many troubles and problems! I'm so sick of worrying for you all these years! Why can't you change for the sake of mum and I? You really should not brought me here in the first place! I thought a home should be warm and happy? But why is it I always experienced despair and disappointment? She should not have given birth to me in the first place... Maybe my life is cheap, I should have die in the womb or she should went for the abortion when she realized I'm a girl...

They said there will be sunshine after the rain, but why is it always rain after rain for me? Where's my sunshine??