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Mei Qian =) 28th Feb 1990
Sunday, March 7, 2010

A levels result are out and my results are like suck cock! Won't be able to get into a good course. No, I don't even know if I can get my ass into uni now. Who am I to judge whether the course sucks or not! Should I retake? I saw the grade profile of all the unis in Singapore and I think I really can't make it. What I wanna do now is to just party!! I wanna party away all my troubles and problems. Yea, I sound like a hermit, but maybe I am one.

Went clubbing with Andee and kel yesterday, I really enjoyed it ttm! I think I will be hooked on to clubbing! The music, the drinks and the people. Went drinking and sheesha the day I got my suck cock results. Went clubbing and smoking yesterday! Can life be any better than this? Now, after I tried smoking, I really don't see any problem with smoking. I love the feeling. Andee said I smoked like a noob, well, I am one. But as time goes by, I know I won't be one anymore.

It is time to rebel and breakaway. Had enough of all the restrictions. Maybe I'm just too fucking disappointed in myself for getting such suck cock results and for wasting my time for the past one year when I should be concentrating and focus on my studies. I just wanna let myself fall and just fall.

Things happened yesterday. Had some drinks with Kel's friends outside Zouk before we went to Supperclub. Had around 4 cups of Martel + coke. Was a bit high when we got to Supperclub. Music was loud, dancefloor was packed, everything was crazy. I danced with this jap guy, I was careless, almost got into trouble. Thank god Andee and Kel were with me and saved me! Thanks guys!

Was I really being careless or I'm just asking for the trouble? I seriously don't know. Or maybe I just want to let myself fall and be slutty and a whore. Maybe this is the life that I wanna lead for punishing myself? I know that in a club girls must really protect themselves from those pervetic jerks and yet I allowed myself to lose control and throw myself into their arms.