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Thursday, July 30, 2009
Hmm.. Okay! Ng mei qian has finally downloaded applications on her iPhone! Ya, like after having this gadget for like more than half a year, she finally figured it out.. Whatever la! So stop calling her a noob!!!
Haiz... Insecurity again.. Darn it! It feels so weird la! If feelings are able to fade that easily, will ours fade that soon too?? What if one day you turn around and tell me you love me no more?? Or that you fell in love with someone else that your family preferred over me? What's gonna happen to me?? Cry my eyes out?! Haha, maybe, a very high possibility.. Since Im always the one who turned back whenever I thought I could leave with my head held high.. I'm such a loser!!
Can you give me reassurance?? Cause I always find myself in this pitiful position of having uber low self esteem... :(
it's okay, maybe you don't have to at all..
Haiz... Insecurity again.. Darn it! It feels so weird la! If feelings are able to fade that easily, will ours fade that soon too?? What if one day you turn around and tell me you love me no more?? Or that you fell in love with someone else that your family preferred over me? What's gonna happen to me?? Cry my eyes out?! Haha, maybe, a very high possibility.. Since Im always the one who turned back whenever I thought I could leave with my head held high.. I'm such a loser!!
Can you give me reassurance?? Cause I always find myself in this pitiful position of having uber low self esteem... :(
it's okay, maybe you don't have to at all..
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Hmm.. Why is it everybody are saying that they are going overseas and planning not to return back to singapore for good? Ok, maybe not everybody, but just 2 of my friends... They are not really my close close friends and I can't be bother much, but it just set me thinking.. When did those countries relaxed the criteria for migrating over? Maybe I'm being myopic or what, but I never knew that it is that easy to migrate over to another country that easily or it will never be. Thought they must ensure that you are some "foreign talent" and is beneficial to their country before they approve you? Or maybe you are lucky to find a native spouse over there.. Ok, I might sound mean, but I don't think any of them do qualified in the so-called "foreign talent" category... Correct me if I'm wrong regarding the migrating criteria, for maybe there really is a change in the rules which I don't know.. :)
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Haiz... Seriously, I'm feeling so so so guilty!! I'm sorry dear!! For splurging toooooo muccchhhh this month and now you are like so broke! Arg! Hate myself for that! I'm so supposed to help and encourage him to save money!! And in the end, I kept on encouraging him to splurge! I so deserve 2 tight slaps!! Arg!! Think this month we really spend money like water!! Should have spared a thought for dear in the first place, all these are his HARD EARN MONEY!!! And I just... Urg!!! No wonder mum would never allow me to have a ATM card!! She knows that I will just splurge on anything.. Haiz.. My MPC is so freaking high!! Ok, for those who don't know econs, MPC = Marginal Propensity to Consume and according to Keynesian theory, the MPC of the lower income or the poor is very high! Cause they have so many wants and needs, so when they have a increase in their income, they tend to consume more than before!! So apparently, I do fall into this category of the poor and lower income! So I have many wants and needs, hence when I have or rather, saw that bf has an increase in income! I wanna spend more!!
I'm do sorry Dear!! Promise shall not splure so much next month!! And will try hard to resist all temptations and encourage you to save money!! :))
But, it's damn hard k?!?! Saw some nice dresses in F21!! I wanna buy!! It's damn cheap k!! But I have this super low allowance that do not allow me to spend on other things besides my notes!!! :"(
I'm do sorry Dear!! Promise shall not splure so much next month!! And will try hard to resist all temptations and encourage you to save money!! :))
But, it's damn hard k?!?! Saw some nice dresses in F21!! I wanna buy!! It's damn cheap k!! But I have this super low allowance that do not allow me to spend on other things besides my notes!!! :"(
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Another chance was given, to him and I and to this relationship.. Let it be made clear to myself that this will be the very last chance... It should be made clear to me and not anyone else, since I'm the one who always can't bear to let go and decided to turn back...
This very one last chance to this relationship which none of us can bear to part with and let go.. This relationship that we fought so hard for and treasure it with all our heart and soul.. Just hope that both of us will treasure this one last chance dearly and not waste it.. And hopefully, nothing complicating will pop up again... Know that in a relationship it can't be really smooth sailing, but I just want nothing dramatic from a third party to come in between us.. Problem between just the two of us can be overcome and solved, but not when it is a problem coming from a third party...
This very one last chance to this relationship which none of us can bear to part with and let go.. This relationship that we fought so hard for and treasure it with all our heart and soul.. Just hope that both of us will treasure this one last chance dearly and not waste it.. And hopefully, nothing complicating will pop up again... Know that in a relationship it can't be really smooth sailing, but I just want nothing dramatic from a third party to come in between us.. Problem between just the two of us can be overcome and solved, but not when it is a problem coming from a third party...
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Let us draw a line, a line between you and me.. It will no longer be you and me against the world, but just you against the world or just me against the world.
Everything is very clear now, your family hates me to the core. So much so that they can even scold me on Fb OPENLY.. Well done! Look ng Mei Qian! Right from the start you should listen to everyone and not get into this mess!
Everything is very clear now, your family hates me to the core. So much so that they can even scold me on Fb OPENLY.. Well done! Look ng Mei Qian! Right from the start you should listen to everyone and not get into this mess!
Friday, July 10, 2009
GOSH!!! Tomorrow is our half year anni!! Ha! How times past! Damn! Still cant decide what to wear and where to go! Arg!! It's driving me CRAZY!!! Seriously, don't feel like going botanical garden! I don't wanna be all sweaty when we reach vivo for my MARCHE!!!!!! :)) Hmm... How? Prepared a present for dear 0:) Shhh... Haha!
Arg!! Then next sat is our double date with Bernice and her husband! Smart of her to come up with the theme 'black and white'!! Don't know what to wear too!! Arg... Seriously, I dun feel like buying a new dress just for the occasion, besides I'm like damn damn damn POOR!!! Spent a lot of money recently! Haiz.. But it seems like I've been spending my money on food! Cox I dun see an increase in my clothes!!? What the hell?!?! No wonder I finding myself getting fatter n fatter!! So that's where all money goes! To my tummy!!!!! :((
Arg!! Then next sat is our double date with Bernice and her husband! Smart of her to come up with the theme 'black and white'!! Don't know what to wear too!! Arg... Seriously, I dun feel like buying a new dress just for the occasion, besides I'm like damn damn damn POOR!!! Spent a lot of money recently! Haiz.. But it seems like I've been spending my money on food! Cox I dun see an increase in my clothes!!? What the hell?!?! No wonder I finding myself getting fatter n fatter!! So that's where all money goes! To my tummy!!!!! :((
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Yeah!! Dear just called, we are gonna celebrate our 6-month anni on Saturday!! Yeah!! I dun have to celebrate it on my own on that day anymore!!! :) <3
Gosh! There's so many things that I needa do to prepare for that special day!! :) :)
Gosh! There's so many things that I needa do to prepare for that special day!! :) :)
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Had a hell sort of day today! Fuck it!! Met dear today to go ikea, tot it was gonna be a wonderful day, but on the bus he and I had an issue about my sweaty palm.. Thought he never minded about my palm, but when I saw him wiping his hand on his pants, hell! Dunno why it just pissed me off!! He never used to do that, or maybe he did but I didn't realize... Too bad then! Alighted at the ikea stop, walked around ikea, then anchor point and boarded 855 to go yishun. Halfway through the journey, realized that 855 pass by macritechi reservoir n alighted. Walked for almost an hour and decided to head back.. For the whole of 3 hours ++, all he did was follow behind me quietly.. :) <3
You know, there are so many things in life that you really love and like and would never wanna let go.. But, what if by having it, you will not be bless by others and will in return bring sufferings to the ppl around and even the "thing" that you love so much?? Will you still carry on and insist havig it or just let go?
For me... I might choose to let go. For I'm weak, I can't take all the remarks and knowing that others are not happy with me..
Thank you for telling me that you will always be beside me and not let anyone bully me. It really makes my day... :) especially, after all that have happened... <3
Of all things, you are the last thing that I wanna let go.. But if by doing that, you will be happier or better, I don't mind doing so!! :)
You know, there are so many things in life that you really love and like and would never wanna let go.. But, what if by having it, you will not be bless by others and will in return bring sufferings to the ppl around and even the "thing" that you love so much?? Will you still carry on and insist havig it or just let go?
For me... I might choose to let go. For I'm weak, I can't take all the remarks and knowing that others are not happy with me..
Thank you for telling me that you will always be beside me and not let anyone bully me. It really makes my day... :) especially, after all that have happened... <3
Of all things, you are the last thing that I wanna let go.. But if by doing that, you will be happier or better, I don't mind doing so!! :)
I'm waiting for dear to call me now!! Think he went out to have supper with his mum!! Darn it! I also wanna have supper!
Sometimes I think that I can reallybe possessive at times.. Haiz... I think I'm being too dependent on boyf... And I just want him to be by my side all the time! It will be best if be can be around me 24/7, which I know is highly impossible.. :( and I just want him to be mine only! Just mine and no one else!!! Damn possessive right?! I'm such a possessive bitch!!
Sometimes I think that I can reallybe possessive at times.. Haiz... I think I'm being too dependent on boyf... And I just want him to be by my side all the time! It will be best if be can be around me 24/7, which I know is highly impossible.. :( and I just want him to be mine only! Just mine and no one else!!! Damn possessive right?! I'm such a possessive bitch!!
Friday, July 3, 2009
Haiz... Can't believe it, our 6-month anni clashes with dear's sister's birthday!! Arh!! Darn it!! And he's mum wants him to be present on the Sis's birthday celebration! Maybe I might sound mean, but seriously, I dun see any purpose in forcing dear to attend it, it's not even a 21st birthday! So in a way, it's not really that important!!! But according to the mum, it's a somewhat special day, cause the Ang moh birthday n the Chinese birthday fall on the same day. Wow!! How "special" indeed!! :( arg! Sucks to the max!!
Dear said maybe we can celebrate in the afternoon and celebrate the Sis's birthday at night! But like wth?! It's not special anymore! Yes I'm greedy! I wanna spend the whole day with him, enjoy the day and the night!!! But if we are to postpone our anni celebration, it will defeat the purpose of celebrating our 6-month, then we might as well dun ever celebrate our anni anymore!!!! But, on the other hand, if dear didnt celebrate the Sis birthday, i will feel that I'm evil, cause I'm like stopping him from celebrating the sis's birthday.. Please! Anyone, just tell me I'm not being evil at all!! :) I'm a very nice girlf who is just trying her best to fight for more time to spend with her boyf before she starts mugging for A's!! :))
Haiz... Dear said he will think of a nice and perfect plan.. But apparently, there isn't any.. :(
Dear said maybe we can celebrate in the afternoon and celebrate the Sis's birthday at night! But like wth?! It's not special anymore! Yes I'm greedy! I wanna spend the whole day with him, enjoy the day and the night!!! But if we are to postpone our anni celebration, it will defeat the purpose of celebrating our 6-month, then we might as well dun ever celebrate our anni anymore!!!! But, on the other hand, if dear didnt celebrate the Sis birthday, i will feel that I'm evil, cause I'm like stopping him from celebrating the sis's birthday.. Please! Anyone, just tell me I'm not being evil at all!! :) I'm a very nice girlf who is just trying her best to fight for more time to spend with her boyf before she starts mugging for A's!! :))
Haiz... Dear said he will think of a nice and perfect plan.. But apparently, there isn't any.. :(
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Yaa hoo!!! Many great movies are coming up!!! Harry potter, Up and the time traveller's wife, etc!! Yeah!! Dear let's go watch these movies k?? :) so far we have been watching movies that you wanna watch, so now, we should watch those that I wanna watch!!! :)
Seriously, I think I've been traumatized by this MYEs and this whole minute mugging thing!! Last minute mugging for exams in JC can really bring you no where!! Except maybe tiredness and hopelessness!! Yes! I promise, I shall NEVER do last minute mugging ever again! It really sucks! And I never want to experimce such a painful experience ever again!! Seriously, I think I just die if I do it again! :(
Seriously, I think I've been traumatized by this MYEs and this whole minute mugging thing!! Last minute mugging for exams in JC can really bring you no where!! Except maybe tiredness and hopelessness!! Yes! I promise, I shall NEVER do last minute mugging ever again! It really sucks! And I never want to experimce such a painful experience ever again!! Seriously, I think I just die if I do it again! :(